Personal Safety in Online Meetings

Alcoholics Anonymous (AA) is a great place to make lifelong friends and find support in getting and staying sober — as long as we exercise caution.

Most people you encounter in online AA meetings are there to support their sobriety. However, a small number may attend online meetings specifically because they know they will find vulnerable people who are not thinking things through. Any online meeting that allows chat or private messages cannot be completely safe unless participants take steps to safeguard themselves.

Over the past few years, we have seen a wide variety of situations and want to share the following guidelines to help you stay safe during and outside the meeting.

Safety Guidelines

Get to know people before sharing personal information. Avoid exchanging phone numbers or email addresses until you have gotten to know someone well. Unless there is a compelling reason not to, ask them to turn on their camera so you can see who you are communicating with. Sometimes “Mary” in your DMs turns out to be “Mark.”
Do not share your home address or send personal photos.
Trust your instincts. If someone makes you feel even slightly uncomfortable, we strongly suggest you stop communicating with them — both during and outside of meetings.
Understand the limits of meeting moderation. While we can remove participants who behave in a disruptive or predatory manner during a meeting, they may return to future meetings using a different name or account. Additionally, we have no control over what happens on other platforms such as messaging apps, text messages, or social media. Be aware that some messaging apps use your phone number as an identifier, which may result in sharing your number unintentionally.
Be mindful of mental health challenges. Many people enter sobriety with underlying mental health issues. Be aware of this and protect yourself so you do not become a victim of someone else’s illness.
Think carefully before starting a relationship in AA. As one old timer once said: “The odds are good… but the goods are odd.”
Work with a sponsor. Get a sponsor and discuss how to handle personal connections made through meetings. A good sponsor will know you well enough to help you develop clear and safe boundaries.
Share thoughtfully. Anything you share in a meeting may be repeated later — in a private message or even by someone who was not present. Be mindful of what you choose to disclose.
Protect your identity on Zoom. Set your Zoom display name to show only your first name, first name and last initial, or a nickname rather than your full name.

Choosing Safer Meetings

If you want or need to attend a particularly “safe” online meeting, consider choosing one that does not allow chat at all, as chat features are often where participants become vulnerable to less than honorable behavior.

Even better, consider attending:

A closed local in person meeting accompanied by your sponsor or another alcoholic with substantial sobriety whom you know and trust, or
An open meeting accompanied by a trusted friend or family member.

Our Commitment

We believe the Talking Heads is a safe environment when participants take reasonable steps to protect themselves. Our service members actively work to remove anyone who is disruptive or who engages in inappropriate messaging during meetings.

Your safety matters. Please take it seriously.